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Alicia Keys becomes Global Creative Director of BlackBerry

IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS BLOG POST COMING WELL HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS BECAUSE HERE IT COMES

ALICIA KEYS. WHERE DO I BEGIN

OH YES OK I SEE. BLACKBERRY. BLACKBERRY SMART PHONES. THE ONES WITH THE LTITLE TRACKBALL THAT COMES OUT AND YOU NEED TO EITHER: BUY A NEW PHONE FOR $200 OR BUY A REPLACEMENT TRACKBALL FOR $25

OR HOW ABOUT YOU JUST NOT GET ONE AT ALL BECAUSE THIS ISN'T 2008 THIS IS 2013 AND NOBODY USES BLACKBERRY DEVICES EXCEPT BABYBOOMERS, THE 52 YEAR OLD MOM THAT THINKS SHE'S HOT BY WEARING ED HARDY HATS IN HER LEXUS SUV THAT GAVE HER UPGRADE TO HER DAUGHTER WHEN SHE SPILLED HER STARBUCKS ON HER OLD BLACKBERRY, OR THE ASIAN COMMUTER ON THE TRAIN

Alright let me focus on Miss Keys here. ok

WHY

WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING WITH SMARTPHONES ASIDE FROM HAVING "GIRL ON FIRE" BLARED THROUGH THE MONO SPEAKER ON THE BLACKBERRY CURVE

LOL OF COURSE BLACKBERRY GIVES HER THIS TITLE BECAUSE A. IT'S BLACKBERRY NOBODY USES IT AND B. ALICIA KEYS JUST GIVE HER SOMETHING TO LOOK IMPORTANT WITH AND EVEN MORE OVERDRAMATIC!!!!

SOMEONE IS NEVER GOING TO GET OFF THE PHONE WITH THIS ONE

I JUST LOVE HOW THIS IS BLACKBERRY IT'S LIKE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE WITH MYSPACE LOL WHY COULDN'T SHE GET WITH NEXTEL OR REBIRTH HELIO LOL YES ALICIA KEYS YOU LOOK SO PROUD WITH THAT TITLE THAT'S LIKE HAVING THE TITLE OF THE LEAD VOLUNTEER AT A BAKE SALE ON A RESUME

DO YOU THINK SOMEONE AT BLACKBERRY'S CORPORATE OFFICE CAME ACROSS MY BLOG ENTRY FROM DECEMBER REGARDING ALICIA KEYS AND HER OVERDRAMATIC MISUSE OF THE TELEPHONE IN HER VIDEOS??

"Miss Keys!! Yes! Hi! This is Chad Phillips from BlackBerry.  We've noticed you are constantly on the phone in all of your music videos.  Come to our BlackBerry event in New York on January 30th, 2013.  We would love to have you as a part of our team!"

THIS IS PROBABLY SOME ENDORSEMENT DEAL FOR ALL OF HER VIDEOS TO FEATURE BLACKBERRY DEVICES AND CONTINUE THE USE OF TELEPHONES IN EVERY MUSIC VIDEO FROM HERE ON OUT FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS. YES SIGN THIS CONTRACT MISS KEYS, YOU ARE EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED!!!!!

I HOPE EVERY NEW BLACKBERRY DEVICE COMES WITH A FREE PRE-INSTALLED COPY OF 'GIRL ON FIRE' THAT WON'T DELETE OFF YOUR PHONE, JUST LIKE SPRINT ZONE

I wonder which BlackBerry device Alicia Keys uses....could it be the....BlackBerry Torch? Since THIS GIRL IS ON FFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEE