CEE LO GREEN

I really don't know how to start this blog entry but let me just throw out there that it's about Cee Lo Green

yes this thing

he looks like a fatter carl winslow from family matters spliced with a fatter russell simmons

don't even get me started with it becuase oh wait nvm im getting started right now and there is no stopping because I have bad brakes and I'm not using my emergency brake for this one

I just want to share with everyone that I feel bad for anyone that finds this highly -entertaining- on the tv shows he was on and -enjoys- his music well just look at it and please stop what you're doing and listen to this disgusting clogged voice of his

I feel extremely sorry for OutKast for doing so many collabs with Goodie Mob because I really don't know what possessed them to do such a thing

I DON'T SEE WHY THIS IS STILL MAKING MUSIC HOW DOES THIS THING LOOK APPEALING IN ANY WAY

THIS IS A GIANT FROG CREATURE I DON'T SEE HOW THIS IS EVEN LIVING????

IN JUNE 2012 ON VH1 SOUL I WATCHED THE VH1 STORYTELLERS EPISODE OF HIS AND LET ME JUST SAY HE WAS TRYING TO SING A SONG AND HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE BEAT OF THE SONG AND IDK I CANT EVEN FINISH THIS IDK WHAT IM DOING WITH THIS BLOG POST BUT IM GOING TO STOP RIGHT NOW I JUST CAN'T DO THIS

IF YOU DO A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH FOR CEE LO GREEN YOU GET 90% OF PICTURES OF ONLY HIS UPPER HALF OF HIS BODY  (HMM I WONDER WHY??) BUT DON'T WORRY I SAW HIS STORYTELLERS EPISODE AND HE HAS THE BODY IMAGE OF A WRECKING BALL (BTW THERE WAS A LOT OF SWEAT WITHIN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES BECAUSE HE WAS STANDING UP FOR A PERIOD OF MORE THAN 3 MINUTES)

FUCK YOU CEE LO GREEN I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU FAT TUB OF SHIT YOU LOOK LIKE A GIANT CLUMP OF MODELING CLAY THAT DOESN'T HARDEN THAT SOME 2ND GRADE ART CLASS TOUCHED AND WARPED INTO A TOAD

REALTALK: IF THERE WAS A BOOK SIGNING OR SOMETHING WITH CEE LO GREEN I WOULD GO THERE STRAPPED WITH BOMBS OVER MY BODY AND GO OUT AS A SUICIDE BOMBER BECAUSE IT WOULD BE MORE OF A TRAGEDY FOR CEE LO GREEN TO HAVE A BOOK THAN THE TOP CAR ON TWITTER BECOMING DECEASED

PLAYING SOME WORLD OF WARCRAFT THERE CEE LO????

GOOD THING HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY HAIR BECAUSE HE CAN'T EVEN LIFT HIS ARMS UP PAST HIS  EARS BECAUSE HE'S SO FUCKING FAT AND OUT OF PROPORTION

My Top Vh1 Soul Videos of 2012

The following videos are my favorites that aired on Vh1 Soul in 2012 that were released within the last 12 months.

Drake featuring Rihanna - Take Care

Jill Scott featuring Paul Wall - So Gone (What My Mind Says)

Robin Thicke - All Tied Up

Luke James - I Want You

Miguel - Adorn (1)

Usher - Climax

Mary J. Blige featuring Rick Ross - Why?

Luke James - Make Love To Me

R. Kelly - Feelin' Single

Jennifer Hudson featuring NE-YO and Rick Ross - Think Like A Man

Robin Thicke - Love After War

Daley featuring Marsha Ambrosius - Alone Together

NaS featuring Amy Winehouse - Cherry Wine

Beyoncé - Party

Usher - Dive

Estelle - Wonderful Life

SWV - Co-Sign

Carl Thomas featuring Snoop Dogg - Don't Kiss Me

Anthony Hamilton - Woo

NaS - Bye Baby

Trey Songz - Dive In

Solange - Losing You

Mary J. Blige - Don't Mind

Miguel - Do You

Kem - You're On My Mind

The Weeknd - Wicked Games

Jill Scott featuring Anthony Hamilton - So In Love

Usher featuring Rick Ross - Lemme See

Boyz II Men featuring Charlie Wilson - More Than You'll Ever Know

Mary J. Blige featuring Drake - Mr. Wrong

Miguel - Adorn (2)

Trey Songz - Heart Attack

Estelle - Thank You

Melanie Fiona - 4 AM

Monica & Brandy - It All Belongs To Me

Tamia - Beautiful Surprise

Jill Scott - Blessed

Alicia Keys

Let me just start off saying how much I hate Alicia Keys I'm sorry but she's terrible I really can't even compose a proper blog post about this because she's so fucking overdramatic to the point where it's not even worth my time typing in the correct format for this. Before anyone chimes in saying "oh you're overreacting maybe YOU'RE the overdramatic one" DON'T WORRY I HAVE PROOF AND EXPLANATIONS FOR THIS

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO BE ON THE PHONE IN YOUR MUSIC VIDEOS I DON'T GET WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT 

I LOVE COMMON AND ALL BUT WTF THANK GOD HE'S PLAYING DEAD IN THIS VIDEO BECAUSE I SURE WOULD NEVER WANT TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH THIS OVERDRAMATIC THING

BUT WAIT THEN SHE HAS THIS VIDEO

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

THEN THERE ARE SOME VIDEOS WHERE SHE IS NOT ON THE PHONE (SHOCKER) BUT THEN YOU HAVE THIS

I'M SORRY BUT IF I WAS ON THE NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY AND I SAW THIS SHIT GOING DOWN AND I COULDN'T GET OFF AT MY STOP BECAUSE OF THIS WELL LET ME JUST SAY I WOULD HAVE A BOX OF TOMATOES WITH ME, A MEGAPHONE, AND A SQUIRT GUN TO GET THIS SHIT TO STOP

THEN YOU HAVE TEENAGE LOVE AFFAIR WHICH TAKES PLACE AT A COLLEGE IN WHICH ALICIA KEYS ATTENDS YET SHE'S 27 YEARS OLD AT THE TIME THAT THIS VIDEO WAS FILMED. WHO ARE YOU FOOLING

THIS VIDEO JUST FUCKING GETS ME LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WHAT "POWERS" DOES SHE HAVE ASIDE FROM BEING SO FUCKING OVERDRAMATIC ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

she has to stand up all the time and play the piano OK SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU'RE PLAYING A FUCKING PIANO IT'S A PIANO IT'S NOT INTENSE IT'S A FUCKING WOODEN BOARD WITH KEYS DO YOU HAVE HEMORRHOIDS OR SOMETHING JUST SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU'RE PLAYING A PIANO

SHE ALSO SCREAMS INTO THE MICROPHONE OK WE GET IT BUT STOP BEING SO FUCKING OVERDRAMATIC THERE'S NO REASON TO HOWL AND SCREECH INTO THE MICROPHONE

OH LOOK AT THIS PICTURE THAT I HAVE IT'S A 2 FOR 1 BECAUSE SHE'S BOTH SCREAMING INTO THE MICROPHONE AND PLAYING THE PIANO STANDING UP!!!!

THEN THERE'S GIRL ON FIRE OMG DO YOU REALLY NEED TO SCREAM "THIS GIRL IS ON FFFFIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE" YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUNDS LIKE??? IT REMINDS ME WAY TOO MUCH OF ELLE VARNER'S REFILL!!!!!

I'M PRETTY SURE SAYING "THIS GIRL IS ON FFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRREEEEEEE" IN MANHATTAN IS NOT A SUPERB IDEA ALICIA KEYS

i just want to punch her in the face