Chrissy Teigen and John Legend announce they're expecting a child

Just 12 months ago, I made a statement regarding what would John Legend do if he became a father.

The nightmare has begun.


Chrissy Teigen, a literal monster, has John Legend whipped like you wouldn't believe.  I'm not going to get into this again, but believe me, he's trapped.


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This just put the icing on the cake.  John, you've created a stay-at-home mommy (SAHM for short) Hell.  She's never going to do anything but pose for diaper brands, and become a huge advocate for the Honest Co.  She will also chat your ear off about car seats, baby led weaning, crying it out methods, and everything else you loathe hearing from moms.  This kid was conceived for Chrissy Teigen's own image.  She needs more followers on instagram and social media.  She wants to show off her kid in those leather moccasins and $25 onesies with an obnoxious saying on them.  But John Legend will just sit along in the passenger seat for the ride as Chrissy Teigen cracks her whip and controls the United States.

I'm praying that John Legend speaks and puts an end to the exploitation of his child and wants privacy to give his kid a normal life.  I do not want to see this mess on the cover of People magazine in the spring.  Based on what Chrissy Teigen said in her interview, she wants to have a large brood of kids like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  Here we go again.

Only 6 more months until her Instagram aesthetic is born!

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