Taylor Swift is an alien


Taylor Swift is a dumb basic girl that needs to be put in her place.  She sics her agents on anyone on the Internet that talks bad about her.  She copyrights everything.  Something is up.

The only logical theory left is that she's an alien. 

Taylor Swift looks different in every appearance she makes.  I'm having a hard time looking for pictures of her because no two pictures look alike.  Her team of scientists are always changing her up, making her look different because they are trying to hide the fact that she is not real.  Her "skin" is made out of real porcelain, but she's just covered in caked on makeup.

Taylor Swift looking pasty af because she's artificial.jpg


A few weeks ago, Taylor Swift lashed out on Nicki Minaj on twitter.  She quickly apologized and she was America's Li'l Sweetheart once again.  This issue was caused by a minor hiccup in her programming.  Taylor Swift's software hadn't been updated since the release of 1989, but her team quickly realised that can't happen again, so she is back to her bi-weekly firmware checks.  

Taylor Swift has the flattest ass ever.  You would think the scientists that created her mould would've worked on her body better, but all of their time and focus was on protecting her name on the Internet.

Taylor Swift also refuses to show off her belly button.... This is a major red flag on her end, but it also proves my theory to be correct with another fact.

all of Taylor Swift's songs sound the same... Aliens and other lifeless forms have no sense of rhythm or unique and individual style, so there is another checkmark to my theory.

Taylor Swift also squints her eyes in every photo shoot and appearance she makes.  You would think someone with a lot of money would fix her glaucoma or whatever eye issues she has, but no, this is not a top priority; she is an alien and the faulty wiring and connections to her eyes was not at the top of the list to tend to, her team has to protect her name.

Taylor Swift looking like absolute shit and squinting her eyes because she is not real.jpg
Taylor Swift squinting her eyes because she is not real.jpg

She used to be all about country music.  Her team of scientists protecting her image realised that in order to make a bigger splash, she needs to broaden and write 'pop' music about boys.  Ex boyfriends.  Miss "little me is innocent- I cheated on him because he looked at me wrong so it's his fault for treating me like garbage." This seems a little too easy and basic, but silly Americans won't notice how suspicious this is, because they are all in love with her, swooning over her every move. 

Taylor Swift has had a lot of boyfriends.  And I mean a lot of them.  More than the prettiest girl in middle school has had all school year.  I think these fine men have found out the truth behind Taylor Swift, got suspicious, and Taylor Swift's team of scientists got spooked and ended the relationship before it was too late, and paid the men a pretty penny to keep it all hush-hush.  Let's be real now, there is no other explanation behind it.  Calvin Harris, if you see this, DO NOT take the money to keep quiet.  Please expose everything.  Touch her face, you will find out that she is made out of porcelain, vinyl, and silicone.

 this shit isn't cute

this shit isn't cute

The sole reasoning that Miss Swift is covering up her footprints before she takes a step, is really just because she is not real.  She is an alien and so far, it looks like I am the only one that has figured this out.  I cracked the case with Beyoncé and Jay-Z, and now I have decoded Taylor Swift.