Miguel releases Simple Things" remix featuring Chris Brown & Future

19 months after "Simple Things" hit airwaves, Miguel releases a re-lit version featuring Chris Brown and Future, with the help of producer (and Miguel's good friend and personal musical director) Brook D'Leau.

Simple Things was already remastered for Wildheart when it released late June, with minor changes.  

ok I'm gonna just stop here and get real and explain what I'm trying to say about this 

ok let me just say that hearing Chris Brown covering a Miguel song is really hot and this is a dream come true I've been waiting for Chris Brown and Miguel to do something together for years because they are both so hot and unique and they both have hot voices and omg and Future is really hot too I've been saying this for years and it's like a calling or an angel flew down from Heaven and made them all brainstorm together and have an epiphany and get them all in the studio to remake Simple Things

Simple Things is already a really good song it's so real and true to the heart and Miguel made it really good and extra hot with these hot cameos omg I swear this is the hottest remix I've heard in the last 3 years

I yearned for the day that Miguel and Chris Brown get in the studio together and release hot songs and I had a feeling that it was going to happen soon tbh because when Miguel released Wildheart in June, Chris Brown gave Miguel a huge shout out on instagram for everyone to go listen to his album even though everyone should listen to Miguel's album because Miguel is hot and he is first priority over everything in the world he comes before the sick people on their deathbeds

Right now Miguel is busy touring in Europe until the end of the month and I know after the tour and towards Thanksgiving and December he is going to show us some tricks up his sleeve and I cannot wait because Miguel is a ticking time bomb he explodes with hot content when you least expect it because he is an enigma like me and it's so hot omg

Miguel I just want to personally congratulate you on becoming so hot in life and being even more perfect with this hot and steamy collaboration and I cannot wait to watch you get even more hot and famous in life and become a really famous public figure like the giant billboards that you see on the side of major highways or a bronze statue you see in the vestibule of a rest stop and everyone stops and pays attention to you even though they should already be doing that because you're perfect

I love you Miguel 

Ryan Adams covers Taylor Swift's 1989 album

As talked about for months, Ryan Adams covered Taylor Swift's 1989 album, and it was released this week.

Who is Ryan Adams?

No, not Canadian mom-heartthrob Bryan Adams.  

9 years ago I went to a benefit concert and Ryan Adams was headlining.  Everyone was so excited that he was going to be there.  When it was his turn, he was poor.  I think I got up and waited on line for the bathroom during his set because it was that uninteresting.  Gavin DeGraw was on right before him and he got booed off the stage; that was more entertaining than Ryan Adams.

Ryan Adams has this mastermind idea that because he sucks, he's going to win everyone over with a cover of that insane monster, Taylor Swift's, new album 1989.  He is doing exactly what Lilly Allen did with Sheezus.  Except this isn't cute or funny or practical it just makes him look even more sad that he can't come out with a good piece of music and he's just exploiting Taylor Swift more than she needs to be and we don't need this because she isn't real and nobody needs to deal with her even more than we already do.

Ryan Adams' cunning idea is going to backfire shortly when Taylor Swift's insane fans take this all in and consider it an insult to them (Taylor Swift fans aren't real people anyway so it's ok) but I think Ryan Adams should just wave that white flag as much as he can and give up on music.

Mandy Moore, if you see this, RUN

Janelle Monáe and the Wondaland Illuminati

Janelle Monáe and her protégé artists signed on her label, Wondaland Records, are all a part of the illuminati.  How am I so sure?

Janelle Monáe and her crew's new album is called The Eephus.  What is an eephus?

Eephus: an off-speed pitch, intended to catch the hitter off guard.

That's the baseball definition, but with what I can pull apart from that simple definition, it's another clue.

"Intended to catch the hitter off guard."  Right.  The Wondaland Illuminati intends to catch their audience (us) off guard with this album; meaning we won't see what they're trying to do until it's too late.

APPEARANCE

The Wondaland Illuminati has a very distinct and unique visual image for all members.

St. Beauty, Deep Cotton, Roman GianArthur, Jidenna, and Janelle Monáe always wear the same outfits.  Another merit leading me to believe that this is a cult.  

St. Beauty: these women always look dressed for a night on the town. Always.

Deep Cotton: always wearing something similar, like identical twins.  Dressed like the CEOs of companies.

Roman GianArthur: he has a similar wardrobe, but he always masks his appearance with that giant oversized hat.  Could it be that he's hiding himself because he's a member of this special illuminati? Just maybe.

Jidenna: he's always incognito with his suits and his cane, depicting himself to be an older gentleman that can't do any harm when smiling as he walks down Main St.  If only everyone knew the truth.  This "classic man" is nothing but an act.

Janelle Monáe: in the past, the media has commented on her outfits.  Lately, in the last 2 years, she's been on the down low with her ridiculous wardrobe, trying to play it cool up until her group was formed.  I caught on to you in 2009, I know what you're doing.  By Janelle Monáe dressing up like it's spirit week 24/7, it's only obvious that she's the ring leader behind the Wondaland Illuminati.  

 

ROLES

These are only assumptions, but based on my calculations, I have the best shot of being accurate.

Janelle Monáe:  She is the ring leader, the mastermind, the creator behind this cult.  She's the one that wants to bring her Wondaland Illuminati to power and rise above everyone and everything to control the world.  She is going to destroy the music industry and destroy the Earth.

Jidenna: Janelle Monáe's sidekick.  Her bitch.  Her right hand man.  Every woman lead role needs a male sidekick to distract the enemies' attacks on herself.  He is basically her stunt man.

Roman GianArthur: He's the one that plans everything for Janelle Monáe and Jidenna.  The "nerd" behind the operations.  He does all the dirty work for the Wondaland Illuminati behind the scenes.

St. Beauty: Every squad needs a female duo to distract the enemies from attacks.  This is the duo.

Deep Cotton: These two men are the "outsiders" that act like they have no idea what is going on with the operations.  They play it up as dumb like they're not with the protagonists, Janelle Monáe and Jidenna.  Deep Cotton plays with the opponents to get more secret information out of them to help Janelle Monáe take over the world.  

It's only a matter of time before the Wondaland Illuminati expands and Janelle Monáe adds more members, I mean artists, to this cult.  This is only the beginning.